A few weeks back I saw an article about a British study that focused on when relationships start to hit speed bumps. More precisely – the decreasing lag between “I can’t live without you” and “Pick up that damn underwear and put it in the hamper.”
The first line from the article:
“The "three-year glitch" has replaced the "seven-year itch" as the tipping point where couples start to take each other for granted, according to a new survey.”
For someone who will celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary this year (really? 25? I musta got married when I was 6...) I can understand the concept of the 7-year itch – and the 3-year glitch and the 20-year – (I found a rhyme for glitch but I'm smart enough to not type it...)
Suffice it to say – I get the gist of the article.
Everything is Faster - Including Disengagement
I’m guessing that 500 years ago it was the 10 year itch – and then at the turn of the century it was the 7-year itch and now we’re down to 3. Everything today is faster. Microwave coffee and download on demand TV – we are not good at waiting anymore. I think this survey shows that our impatience is becoming part of our personal relationships – and I think it is also a factor in our professional lives as well.
We’ve all heard about this “younger” generation being impatient but it’s not just a Millennial thing - late Boomers have had an average of 11 employers - a job change every 2.4 years. (US Bureau of Labor Statistics)
We are becoming impatient faster with almost everything in our lives. Including work.
Personal/Professional – TomAto/TomAHto
The survey outlined some interesting things about the changes that occur in a relationship – and I think you can convert these things into employee engagement ideas as well – and keep that “spark” in your employee/employer bond...
| Survey Comments | I2I Comments |
| Those in the first flush of love can look forward to an average of three compliments a week from their partners | How often do we compliment new hires on their work? More often, I’m guessing, than we do the veterans. |
| At the three-year mark most average only a single weekly compliment | Other than the annual performance review and maybe a “service anniversary” award – what are you saying to those that have earned their stripes and now perform in their jobs. |
| 30% of five-year relationships said that they never receive any compliments from their partners. | Maybe we should invert the pyramid of recognition and increase the number of times we thank folks for being part of the company and contributing (not just presence – but performance.) |
| 76 % felt that "individual space was important" within a relationship and pointed to a rise of individual activities | Do you give your employees the opportunity to do work they find valuable and desireable? Do you let them have some time to pursue personal goals as part of their employment contract? Maybe you should. |
| 34% of those who have been seeing their partners for longer than three years have at least two evenings a month defined as a "pass" or a "ticket" where it is accepted that they can pursue their own interests |
See above. Allowing personal pursuits during working hours can be a huge reward for loyal AND productive employees. And really, at the end of the day what was the cost? You can pay them now in free time – or pay them later when they stop working as hard and waste an hour a day for 10 years – that’s the real cost to you – not the one or two days a month they get to work on a special interest. |
| 58% of the same sample group enjoys regular holidays without their partners | Should we let employees work full-time somewhere else for a little bit – maybe at a charity – while still paying them? Just thinking outloud. |
What do you think? Good comparison?
I hope you are paying attention to the things that annoy your partner in your personal life. You don’t want to come down with the 3-year glitch.
And for all of us managers out there – It might be a good idea to start paying attention to the same things in our professional lives and increase the honeymoon period from 1 year to 25. Just sayin’.
Paul --- Loved the cake picture almost as much as I liked the whole blog!!
I was coaching a guy last week (West Point grad, VERY successful in his first start up) who said coaching Gen Y & Millenials was the biggest challenge -- and felt like the bigggest failure -- he's ever had.
After some questioning, it sounded like he'd been running on "leadership autopilot", and I advised him that his leadership needed to be "exclusively intentional". In other words, know WHY you do what you do, and always have a reason for it.
Your right hand column is an antidote to "leadership autopilot". Again (as always), great, incisive post.
Posted by: Scott Crandall | May 22, 2011 at 05:39 PM