This past week I did a session at the infinitely tweetable and bloggable #HRevolution. If you’re remotely connected to HR you probably saw it on the twitterstream – almost impossible not to. My session discussed the various ways in which you can influence behavior in a company and how rewards and recognition can be a part of that effort.
I’ve gone on record here in this blog, and at the conference, that there are behaviors that should not be rewarded. I’ve also gone on record that some behaviors are patently unacceptable and if demonstrated, should be punished. As an example, at my session this past weekend someone asked how you influence “bullying” behavior within an organization.
My response? Fire the perpetrator. Punish the behavior. No incentive in the world will be effective for that kind of behavior.
Incentives are choice architectures – give an incentive to “not bully” and you’re really saying bullying is okay but if you don’t do it we’ll give you some trinket.
Ignoring bullying simply reinforces the behavior by “lack of punishment.”
The Magic Number 5
I remember a friend of the family telling us that her son would always ignore her when she called for him to come in the house for dinner. She asked him once why he ignored her. His answer: “I wait for the fifth time you call. That’s when I know I’m in trouble.”
The subtext – the first 4 didn’t matter. She had trained her son that 4 was acceptable – 5 was not.
Ignored = Reinforced
One of my pet peeves with many organizations is that they shy away from the “punishment” side of the influence coin – at least until it comes up on a police blotter somewhere. Many organizations let small infractions (small in impact – big in intent) go by without nary a word – positive or negative. Watching small infractions pass by is the same as rewarding them. I've called it the "underground recognition program."
New Application to Get Kids To “Check In” With Parents
Following this theme of rewarding behaviors that in reality shouldn’t be rewarded is this new app “I’mOK.” Found it on TechCrunch today and it is described as:
"I’mOK, which is in private beta, is a private mobile application designed to reward kids for staying connected to their parents.
By sharing their location, taking pictures, tagging friends, and telling parents what’s up, kids earn points that can be exchanged for things parents have agreed to, like allowance or special privileges. The more kids share, the more points they get.
All the communication takes place directly within the I’mOK iPhone app, which creates a private network for families. The app will also automatically tally all communications from kids. And an Android app will also be released shortly."
I’m a parent. I have two children who drive and are involved in after school activities. They are out of the house a lot (sometimes that’s good... believe me.) We have always had a rule that whenever they change geography they text and let us know where they are going – and they text when they get there. That’s all. It’s not a permission thing – it’s a location thing. It’s a respect thing. It’s about the rules of freedom in our house. You want the car and the ability to move around? Sure – here’s the payment – you let us know whenever you change geography. (I’ve also told them that I can easily turn on geo-location for their phones and find them if I need to so there is no point in lying. Trust but have the ability to verify if needed.) That's our minimum standard of performance.
Here’s my long-winded point. IMHO - If you need to provide a reward system to get your kids to check in and tell you where they are – you’re doing it wrong. That is our family culture. I get that your's may be different - but this is ours.
The payment for freedom is respect and transparency of location. These are the minimums. These aren’t negotiable.
I would never use the check-in system outlined by “I’mOK.”
The real message it sends to the kid is “I don’t’ need to check in if I don’t need awards.” But I'll predict it will be popular just because punishment isn't fun. We'd rather reward (that's fun) than punish. Even when punishment is the correct response.
Culture in an organization is similar. Some things are “must haves” some things are “nice to haves” and some things are “never haves.”
Never shy away from creating a list of “never haves” – bullying, lying, cheating, stealing – and punishing them when they rear their ugly head.
Had this conversation with a colleague just yesterday, Paul. I feel strongly that we need to confront the bad behavior of another colleague, and his response was "I dismissed him 10 years ago." Exactly, no wonder he behaves badly, he thinks he has a free pass to do whatever he want to. I can already see it coming, I'm going to be labeled an asshole, but I'm revoking this guy's pass in public from here on out. I'd rather be an asshole than a door mate. Thanks!
Posted by: Bret Simmons | May 06, 2011 at 10:11 AM
Good point and the reason I never gave my sons an allowance for doing chores.
Posted by: jmcnichol | June 07, 2011 at 10:14 PM