Social Media/Networks – I Just Can’t Quit You – But I Do Need a Break

I Love Social Media

I do love it.  It has brought me business, friends, acquaintances, information and ideas.  Social media has allowed me to think differently – it has changed some opinions, created a few and reinforced many.  But I think I’ve moved past the infatuation stage and into the real, more mature, “love” stage. 

Social media used me.  And I allowed it to happen.  I welcomed it and enjoyed it.  But no more.

Like any relationship, at the beginning you’re awash in the euphoria of endorphins with little intellectual involvement.  Let’s face it – if relationships led with logic the species would have died out many eons ago.  That little chemically-driven stutter at the beginning of every relationship gets us past the negatives and firmly invests us in the new person – or in this case – the new technology and (gasp – should I say it?) the new normal.  We need to be blinded for a while in order to get involved.

Unfortunately, like our real-life relationships - we don’t stay in our drugged state forever.  We slowly begin to come out of the endorphin rush and one day we wake up and wonder who really is in our technology bed.  I’m at that point now.  I love you social media – but I’m not “in” love with you.

It’s Not You. It’s Me

And to make matters even worse – my love affair – like yours - is a multi-partner gig.  It’s not just me and one – or even me and a few – it’s me and a TON of other people.  It's not like it was in the beginning.  When we were all early adopters we were all happy, shiny people enjoying new-found connections.  Everyone basked in the coolness of being in front.  And that fed the euphoria.  I confess I was one of those.

But… others are joining the group – and they are starting where I was.  They are the blind and the happy – and I am now jaded and bothered.  My social network relationships aren't in synch anymore.

It’s my problem.  I’m not in the same place as SM today - and I shouldn’t hold that against anyone who is just now jumping in.  I just wish I’d have known that I would have drifted apart when I started down this road.  And for those of you jumping in - this will be you some day too.

Each of the networks I am involved with has changed.  I’ve changed.  I just didn’t realize how much these changes would impact my feelings about social media/networking (are those really interchangeable?  I don’t think so but most folks do.)

LinkedIn, Twitter and Blogs, Oh My

I’m not blaming anyone in particular.  It’s just the way things go.  My feelings about the different networks are my feelings – you may feel different.  But as of this writing – Linkedin, Twitter, and blogging are on my “social media break” list.

Linkedin was a nice little site that allowed all of us to inflate our credentials and connect to other people who were too polite to point out our title/role/impact inflation – and we kept our mouths shut about theirs as well.  It was a nice little place for “business” relationships to start.  Over time they added a few little widgets that allowed us to round out our online persona.  That was nice.  Employers, employees, recruiters, job-seekers, sales folks, buyers, etc. could get a nice picture of you and your capabilities.

Then it became a race.  Link envy took over and the number of connections became the goal – not the value of them.

The next big step was groups.  Initially a good idea and I’m sure there are many Linkedin groups that foster a great exchange of ideas and information and add value to the individuals associated with them.  However, I’m seeing more and more groups become seething pits of self-promotion and spam.  Some of the new changes for Linkedin groups, like eliminating the “news” section, has made it even more difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Groups are almost useless unless continually moderated with an iron fist.

Talking about about wheat and chaff –Twitter.  

When it was new it was very cool.  It was the center table in the high school cafeteria.  But like Linkedin before it, the currency of influence isn’t content or real connections any more – it’s followers – and following.  And the recent FastCompany stunt on influence hasn’t helped any.  It’s just made it worse.  (What did our parents do to us to make us need, demand and require this much validation?)

Don’t get me wrong - there are great conversations going on within Twitter.  There is always the top part of the normal distribution where value resides.  Unfortunately, the distribution for twitter is getting very, very wide – and the value is now only at the very tippy-tippy end of the tail.  The average tweeter hasn’t a clue how to best leverage it and it makes it harder to find the real value.

As an example – I follow @chrisbrogan (who has about 150,000 followers – props man.)  Every day I’ll get about 100 RTs of Chris Brogan’s tweets.  Does the person with only 400 followers really think they have more reach than Chris Brogan?  Isn’t it entirely more likely that their 400 followers probably already follow Chris Brogan and their addition to the tweet stream has 0 marginal value?  And to simply retweet Chris Brogan with nothing added – no comment, no witty rejoinder, no nothing = no value.  

And while I’m at it… please – stop RT-ing Seth Godin – anyone in business that’s been alive for more than 10 years either follows him on Twitter, subscribes to his blog or doesn’t really give a crap about his daily brain droppings.  If you’re following me – and I’m following you – chances are we’re pretty much like each other and anything you follow I follow too.  

It’s the weird stuff I want – not the popular stuff.  RT the blog I don’t know about – not the one that’s featured in Time Magazine or the Wall Street Journal.  This is my fault too… I need to find weirder people to follow.  I only need a few folks that think like me – the rest should be wildly different.

And speaking of blogs…

The common wisdom on the web is that everyone should blog.  Here’s a piece of advice …. No they shouldn’t.  

Fueled by twitter tons of new blogs are clouding up the blogosphere.  It’s harder than ever to find good, quality content.  Techonorati used to be helpful but that ship sailed.  I’m not here to tell you whether you should blog or not but here’s a clue: If there is even a question in your mind about whether you should blog – don’t.  Only blog if you would do it under threat of being fired or sued.  That’s when you’ll know you have the passion and point of view to create quality posts and be in it for the long-run.  And for Pete’s sake – write about something interesting – not just what is already available in the normal news media.  Put a spin on it… be funny, be sad, be mean… be something.

So What Does This All Mean? – It Means It’s All My Fault

Social media/networks are good.  I love them.  But it does mean I need to go “on a break.”  I need to start over.  Now that I know what I’m dealing with I can set up my monitoring and usage of social media to eliminate the things that have made me sour recently.  I might even date around - but remember - we're on a break!

1. First– Linkedin… going to quit a lot of groups.  Going to start contributing more and call BS on those that don’t or those that abuse.
    
2. Second– Twitter… going to be unfollowing like a mad-man over the next few days.  Then I’m going to set up my tweet deck so I can find the pony in the pile.  
    
3. Third– blogs – going to be pulling some RSS feeds off my reader.  One great post every other month isn’t going to do it for me anymore.  I’ll be starring stuff in Google Reader and I’ll be checking every week to see who didn’t get a star – then you’re on my “cut” list.
   
   

I do love you Social Media – I can’t just quit you – but I can take back control.  

I know I’ll miss that random rush when the tweet stream refreshes.  I know I’ll worry that I’ll miss that one post that will change my life or the tweet that will let me know that @scobleizer has a new camera or how I can whiten my teeth.  But I’ll survive.  I’ll probably lose a few friends here and there –but my sanity is important and right now social networks and social media is slowly eroding it with top ten lists, praise of twitter and the endless quotations from Einstein.  

BTW – for those of you who do send out a lot of quotations – no one appreciates them - but your followers are too polite to tell you.

Comments

[akaBruno]

Good stuff Paul....

I am amazed at people who are following 1000+ people on Twitter. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my <500 people.

And you can cut my blog from your list since I post infrequently :)

[Paul Hebert]

It is a puzzle...

But you bring up a good point - frequency isn't my yardstick. There are a couple of blogs I follow that post 2 times a month - but they are some great posts. I want that. Also, I know you and I appreciate your point of view so even if you post irregularly - and you only hit on 75% of your posts - I'm still a fan and will continue to subscribe.

It's all about priorities - and the increase in noise over signal means it's time to adapt and find a way to truly leverage SM for ME - instead of if leveraging my my time.

[Drew Hawkins]

I will agree that a lot of RTs that are made for the sake of tweeting with no commentary are somewhat fruitless (I've been guilty in the past but have modified those ways in the last month or two). The barrier to entry is extremely low for social networks, which is what makes social networks awesome and annoying at the same time.

Early adopters had to learn how to use social media. Now that we know how to, we're having to re-learn how to use it again, figuring out how to more effectively sort through the rubble after the social network explosion. Social media is still awesome, just a lot more work than it used to be.

[Paul Hebert]

Agreed Drew - that's the beauty of these technologies - now I can use it the way I want to versus it using me. Just takes a while to play with it before you find your path.

[Frank Roche]

Paul, brother, I'm with you. My social media use is dwindling, but I can't quit it either. Very provocative post. I like real conversations, more. Nice. Really good writing, as always.

[Paul Hebert]

The onus is now on us... damn it. I was hoping this would be easy. But nothing of value every is really easy. Thanks for weighing in Frank!

[Steve Boese]

Love the piece Paul. You touched on several of the problems and shortcomings that arise once anything gets 'too' popular. Eventually that great little out of the way restaurant you love gets found, gets more crowded, noisy, and starts to change a little. It is still good, just different and it is up to each person to sort out if they love the food enough to put up with the noise.

[Paul Hebert]

I just don't like the fact that I have to change my process - although it is the right thing to do.

[Trisha McFarlane]

This is one of my fave posts in a LONG time and like you, I read a ton of blogs. It's not about you changing your process, it's about the Evolution (or Revolution?!?) of Paul Hebert. You're doing what many of us in the space are doing and forcing ourselves to evaluate whether this is valuable or not. It's also important to determine how much is too much. To be honest, I don't follow Chris Brogan. Why? For the very reason that about 1,000 of the people I follow RT him like crazy. I'm sure he's great and all but unfollowing him, Dan Schwabel, and even Cheezehead (back in the day when he was around) is a good thing. Again, not their fault but it's overkill.

I recently cut over 2,000 people I followed who never tweeted nor interacted with me at all. Now, I'm making strategic pruning (love that you call it that) of the remainder of the people I follow. Maybe those of us who have been doing it for awhile need a shiny, new, less mainstream toy (site) to be involved in. Nah....we're not just like a cat chasing a ball of yarn. Or, are we?

[Paul Hebert]

It's funny but what I think I'm finding is I need both the comfort of those that think similarly to me (not exactly but close) and the rush of discovery that comes from the random. But that's not a function of twitter the tool - it's a function of Paul the tool :)

I think the key takeaway for me is that I wish I set up my network differently to start with - then I wouldn't have gotten to this place. But hindsight is always 20/20. I have probably cut 6 or 7 hundred people from twitter and my tweet stream is already more valuable.

So live and learn - those starting out - be smart - take time to think about how you will use the information and the connections as best you can - organize, segment and most of all - do it for yourself - not for your followers.

Breaking up is hard - but necessary.

[Kari Quaas]

Social media has always been a personal experience and it's important to do what's right for you. I enjoyed this post and get where you're coming from. Sometimes it gets hard to focus on what is important. Happy spring / summer cleaning.

[Laura Schroeder]

Paul, this is a sensitive, intelligent and thought-provoking post. But I can't get that Brokeback Mountain picture out of my head. . .

[Paul Hebert]

I know. it is so creepy. I haven't seen the movie and have no plans ever to see it. Just a little too weird for me.